#things that make your smile

[cpleblow]

Yoram Gal (artist)

I posted two photos from a herd of Elk grazing near our home on my Tumblr and Facebook pages at the same time this past week.

The latest photograph (titled "Elk Herd") featured about 15 elk (a portion of the herd) grazing along the canal in the snow near dusk.

A well known Israeli Artist named Yoram Gal follows my photography on Facebook as I have followed his art and we actually own two watercolors and an oil painting of his that we purchased here in the USA. Yoram is now pretty well known here, enough so that he regularly shows his works at some well travelled art shows here and around the country.

So much for the back story.

Yesterday Yoram, wrote a comment on my fb post featuring "Elk Herd". His comment praised the photo and asked me if i would give my consent for him to use the photo as inspiration of a possible future work of art that he is considering to create. Of course I consented and asked only that if he does actually paint a rendition of it that he would send me the photo of the finished piece to which he readily agreed!

If he does actually follow through and paints the herd then I might have to pony up and buy it (if I can afford it) as his popularity in the US and elsewhere has grown considerably!

I only share this story because any recognition (even on fb or tumblr) of my photography puts a smile on my face...and motivates me to continue taking and posting my photography!

Now nearing age 71 (March bday) a little recognition goes a long way in keeping me active and keeps me taking photos and sharing them on tumblr and fb!

Hopefully some of you can relate!

-chas

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[latehere]

lovey dovey sun for you all

[mizgnomer]

Lying Down on the Job - Part Two

I've been meaning to do a second part to this set for ages - the time has finally come.

[pocketgalaxies]

The silver color of the thread begins to fill with more golden light. (requested by @overnighttosunflowers)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what

[vaguely-concerned]

'varric's vibe when you pick the 'I'm worried' option after he asks you how you feel about having solas in your head is so fucking funny. the very careful 'so, uh, just... out of casual interest why -- why aren't you putting wards on yourself and your mind to keep him out, and incidentally exactly how might you do it if you did. no reason why I'm asking just. curious. I have no stance on this' probing of it all (that should be the giveaway in itself, really, in hindsight I think real varric would be a lot more freaked out on rook's behalf about this even if he might still have reached the conclusion that the connection to solas was worth the risk, he's got kirkwall blood magic trauma to fill a telephone catalogue). that and the '>:) then I see you've made a choice (so this is basically a little bit on you now, you got fairly outsmarted etc., I don't have to feel as guilty thank you for having youthful hubris that will be your undoing so I can feel less bad about my role in it). honestly if anything I'm doubling down on my previous 'mind!varric is directly controlled by solas the majority of the time and rook's mind is mostly a collaborateur' post. this conversation is transparently solas gathering intel and giving you the 101 on leadership while you're building a small focused rebel force.

in solas' defense... this whole situation is very very funny in an extremely dark kind of way he is nothing if not on brand. the stuff he says about himself in this conversation is like. he's both reading himself for filth AND he can't read all of a sudden he can't uh......... he has plenty of self-insight (a single flower with blackened petals) and it helps him exactly not at all in breaking his patterns lmao

also it makes the relationship between solas and rook so. so much. what an insane intimacy in grieving for someone so much you both conspire to raise him from the dead together, just for a little while, because neither of you can bear to let go. what a violation in being the only knowing party in that. solas can hear rook following through on relaying his apology to 'varric' no matter what else they think of him. and he still does what he does to them in the end. he's feeding them affection (some of it even real eventually, I think, he clearly respects rook as a pure agent of chaos on some level and has some incredulous amused fondness for them no matter how you end up in your relationship with him) and confidence with one hand, and readying a knife in the other the whole time. solas my love my friend my genuine darling I think I will have to strangle you unfortunately

[freakinator]

He tore across the hill

faster than any creature in the world.

All the world will be your enemy,

Prince with a Thousand Enemies.

And whenever they catch you,

they will kill you.

But first, they must catch you...

digger, listener, runner.

Prince with the swift warning.

Be cunning and full of tricks...

and your people

will never be destroyed.

[senseearly]

For a moment, imagine yourself in Mithrun's brother shoes.

Your brother - stronger, prettier, more charismatic, but also distrustful and disdainful of everyone especially you - is to be sent to the Canaries. It is the rule, it is the duty of all noble houses. But you know what goes on there, Mithrun knows what happens there. Yet you see him off, bidding a temporary farewell as you do, because someone from the House has to go and it won't be definitely you. Mithrun knows this, you know this. And you wonder, very briefly, if Mithrun hates you now more than he does already.

Your brother - powerful, agile, a good soldier just as he is as an heir, if he could only be an heir - suddenly disappears. The unit he belonged to suddenly disappeared. And you're speechless because - how? why? No one wants to answer you; they will instead try to bring back a body, they promise to you. But that is not what you want. You grieve for your brother. but your own family doesn't grieve with you. Wasn't Mithrun family too?

Then you found out: MIthrun is alive.

Your brother - now weak, despondent, his eyes always looking for something that is not here nor there - is to be sent home where people can take care of him. It is not your first choice, you want him home. But he is - sick. Not quite there. He needs someone who can look after him and you look at yourself - your gait, your constitution - and you know it can't be you. So, you follow the advice of your family and pour out all your resources to find him the best of healers and caretakers. You ask yourself, almost daily, if Mithrun would ever return to who he once was.

Your brother - strong, pretty, uninterested of anything and anyone else aside from what he calls 'the demon' - is now better. He can walk on his own now, eats without throwing up on himself. The color on his skin is back and the scars of his injuries have faded into thick bumps and discolored skin. But he still isn't quite there; still needs help and probably will for the rest of his life. And you can live with that. You can provide that. Just as long as he comes home.

But doesn't. Your brother - now a husk of his former self, and you hate thinking of him that way, but you can't help yourself, the Mithrun you knew is gone - runs straight back to the Canaries. His mission is not over, he says. He doesn't care how long it takes, he says. And you see him off, again, because someone from the House has to go and it still can't be you. Mithrun knows this, you know this, and you can't help but wish, very briefly, if things would've been different if you went instead of him.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

erik will genuinely jump at any chance he can to steal charles' last name and be so catty about it i know this for a fact WHAT is his deal

[Magneto (2011)]

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:

the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")

tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible

bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)

the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")

that is a man who is always thinking about her.

[canisalbus]

Hi!! I don't know if anyone has drawn this before (sorry if they have!! I couldn't find any evidence of it) but I have recently been plagued with the question of "what if Machete and Vasco were in Bluey?"

Well. Now we know.

To my knowledge, the only Bluey dogs who wear clothes are the ones in uniforms. TECHNICALLY Machete's outfit could count, but I left it out because it's not typical of a main character. He must be naked 😔

.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

I'M GOING TO LIVE

[turtleblogatlast]

Imagine the boys getting cursed to bear witness to “some of the most negatively impactful things in their lives” and they’re terrified, thinking it’ll be stuff like the invasion or Shredder or something-

Only to be met with multiple scenarios of their family. Saying offhand, but hurtful things. Doing hurtful things. Lots of scenarios that were inconsequential to everyone but the one most affected.

And they’re all scrambling, desperate to make sure the others don’t look too deep into it haha it doesn’t really bother them- but they all know the truth. Because they’re all in the same position here. It wasn’t on purpose, and they all know it wasn’t on purpose, but it still hurts.

It’s almost a relief, that they’re going through it all together. That they can apologize for mistakes, and accept that they’ve held onto hurt too long when they could have dealt with it sooner.

And that’s how they break the curse, reversing it into something different, as they’re told that before it leaves them for good they’ll bear witness to the most positively impactful things in their lives. And now they think they’ll see some of their best victories, some of their grandest adventures-

The scenes they see then are of the same cloth as their negative ones. Simple scenes, ones that most wouldn’t remember. Times where someone managed to make someone else smile, times where they were just so content to exist by the other’s side, times where they were just happy being there with their brothers, their family.

It’s the little things that go the farthest, because that’s what you experience the most in life. And they’ll mess up again, of course. Things happen, and they’ll never really know how their actions and words will be taken. But through the good and the bad, they’re family.

Besides - turns out, there’s a lot more good.

[raplinenthusiasts]

boyfriend <3

for @outroindigo

[sunnibits]

I know I’m biased bc I’m a whore for old men but I genuinely cannot fathom how anyone can find eye creases and wrinkles unattractive. you don’t like happy eye crinkles?? you don’t like being able to see someone’s smile echo in waves through their whole expression??? like their smile is expanding beyond their mouth to gently fold every corner of their face?? to draw you in to their twinkling eyes and the joy that’s held there???? you don’t like seeing the evidence of a life well lived, well-laughed, a face worn by smiles as a canyon is worn by rivers??? do you hate puppies and sunshine too??????